My Decision
by dylan L.c
Summary: I made a decision to finally let go, because I can't stand the pain, -sigh- i guess i'll just die alone. i'm just her trash  -Ruka


This is another one-shot story… yeah… because I want to give this message to my best friend. She is my best friend because I feel like Ruka letting go of Mikan just like me letting go of her… but mine is a little different from them because it is a 'forbidden' relationship if I won't let her go. It's not like cousin-to-cousin thing or… you know what I mean… it's more worst than that. And she is not kuri-chan! Yeah… I know her alot… we're like … can't find the right word… let's just say kuri-chan is my other half, ne? Okay… about my other best friend… she is important to us… by us I mean kuri-chan and me especially me… if I tell her the truth… our friendship might be over. That 'Shike' guy is lucky to have her. But still! If you are reading this… I'm still not convinced with your feelings towards him! I'll tell you! You must stop that!

Yeah just read it… I suck at explaining things so I'll just put it in a story. That's where I finally let her go.

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I don't own anything!<strong>

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><p><strong>My Decision <strong>

By: dylan L.c

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><p>Everything goes with a decision. Something that I must choose or make up in my mind, after considering it and its other possible choices and I made a choice, a decision… my decision. My decision is to finally let go, because I can't stand the pain. The pain of seeing her with my best friend, both of them are important to me. So I can't bear to see them pain because of me, me who might break them apart if I take them away from each other. It's alright if I was the only one who was in pain, right? Because I know that I can move on, on my own. It's time for my last tears to fall and smile again.<p>

It's time for me to surrender her. I know… selfish right? Keeping her all to me… that's why I'm letting her go. It doesn't mean I'm weak. There are just things I need to give up. Not because I'm tired of protecting it but because I know that no matter what I do… she's not meant for me. Maybe I'll find someone that is more better than her.

It's really hard to love. I'm always the one who cries, I'm always the one to be hurt, always hoping… hoping for you to turn to me. But I guess it's just my dream. You just see me as your friend, a good friend to you. Even if I'm hurt… I'll say this to you: thank you. I thank you because you considered me your friend and you keep me for who I am.

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><p>I was walking in the hallway, feeling down because of the revelations I found out, she was now going out with him after her great confession in front of our table. It really hurt me… but all I can do is to cheer and approve of their relationship. That time, I finally made my choice, to let go of her. He had won, my best friend, Natsume Hyuuga. I smiled for them even it gave me pain… but hey… I don't have the right to reject because the girl has finally spoken her love for him.-sigh-<p>

"Hey Ruka-pyon! Why do look so down? Is there a problem?" Mikan asked. I didn't know she was there. I blushed as she came near to see my face.

"Th-the-there's no problem at all" I replied, stuttering. "Where are you going?" I asked trying to change the sunject.

"I'm just going on a date with Natsume… hey! Don't change the subject. Ruka-pyon… what's your problem? Maybe I could help you" Mikan said worriedly. This girl is really annoying but not in a bad way.

"There's no problem at all… can't you understand?" I said annoyed. She kept bugging which made me irritated and pushed her away. She fell down.

"Would you cut it out? I'm not in the mood to deal with you!" I yelled at her. It's the first time for me to yell at a girl. I was really mad but I came to my senses and help her stand.

"I was just to help you Ruka-pyon" Mikan said sadly.

"-sigh- sorry about that Mikan-chan… you know… it's just that… I can't find the right word… let's just say it's a guy's time of the month (a/n: I can't find words for that)" I think I might have said the wrong words. I could see Mikan-chan in a ridiculous face… she's misunderstanding it.

"Pffft… AHAHAHAHAHA! So there's –laugh- something like that? Ahahahaha!" Mikan said laughing out loud. Now I really feel emabarrased.

"Sshh… Mikan-chan… shh! You're misunderstanding it! It's not what I meant! Mood swings! That's it!" I said making her shut up. "I thought you have a date?" I asked.

"Oh yeah… right… bye Ruka-pyon!" she said and walked away. Before she could go farther away I called her, "it's our secret okay!"

"Sure" she said and winked.

"I'm just her trash" I said to no one and gave a heavy sigh. I turned around and saw Imai right in front of me. Where did she come from? Oh my g-… I think she just heard us now.

"They say that 'one person's trash is another person's treasure'… I'm the one who thinks you're a treasure" Imai said she still had this stoic façade plastered in her face. Is she trying to cheer me up? Or is this an indirect confession?

"Thanks Hotaru" I said blushing madly. I was the first time I said more like blurted out her name.

"No problem" she said and smiled at me. She's cute for an ice queen like her.

"Eh? No fee?" I asked her.

"None at all because I have this" she said and took out a tape… there was a recorded voice… that's my voice! That was the time Mikan-chan misunderstands me. I turned pale.

"Give me that!" I said. We were walking, talking; apparently I was the one who did the pleading to give me the tape. I didn't notice we were holding hands for a long time.

_Bu-dump…_

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><p>Yes! I've already done it! Now those feelings are gone… finally, I have let it out! Ha!<p>

To all of who have read this… please drop a review thanks…

Flames and constructive criticisms are allowed…


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